The past several weeks people who have seen me have been surprised that I am up moving around…not only that but full on MOVING (house to house) and acting totally normal.
That is because I FEEL normal. Sure, I had some crappy days after my first chemo and some major fatigue…but being over 2 weeks out I feel great.
So I didn’t “look” like I had cancer.
You know- because I had my hair.
My hair has been slowly shedding the last week or so. Not badly- more like I just had a baby. My hair could be found all over the house but only a hair or two at a time.
I went to brush my hair, and it started coming out in clumps. So I went ahead and STOPPED brushing my hair and stuck it in a bun and told Justin that was THE day- we needed to shave it all off.
It ended up being a long day of unpacking (I also was a little under the weather- possibly a slight stomach bug. Good things for all my cancer drugs to keep the symptoms at bay!) and so we didn’t get to it until like 9pm. Emory also had a breakdown when I told him we needed to shave my hair. He was REALLY hoping that I would not lose my hair and the poor kid had a good, long cry about it before it happened. I was mostly worried about Edda- but she wasn’t phased at all! “Yes, we need to shave mommy’s hair.”
I had Ellie cut off my bun first (she’s been looking forward to this for a while, hahaha!) and then she gave me some bangs just for fun. Oddly I wasn’t going to take pictures of any of it but Ellie water to and I’m glad we took a few. Once my “haircut” was complete- Justin shaved it off.
How do I feel? I mean- I’m fine. It’s just hair. Would I prefer my hair? Yes. Because my hair made me feel feminine and like ME and now it’s gone. Yet I’m still feminine and I’m still ME so it just goes to show yet again: It’s just hair.
Plus I’m banking on it growing back in thick and curly. So there’s that…
Oh and Emory ended up being fine. He told me to wasn’t scary after all- just weird.
But now…now I look the part.
Yes, it’s still decently long. We couldn’t find our regular clippers so Justin used his beard trimmer and we decided to just go a little shorter than his beard length. I have spots apparently that are pretty thin in the back. The rest will fall out in time.
And yes, my head is COLD.
Justin and I are off to Ikea so I’m going to sign off for now…